DAMN Riders - No rules, Just ride!

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to this friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" Luigi said, "Everyting wasa perfecto except for da train ride down." "Whatayou mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.

"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia , she pack a biga basket a food. She broughta da vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were lookina forward to da trip, and open upa da luncha basket ..The conductore come aby, waga his finger at us anda say, 'no eat indisa car. Musta use a dining car..'

So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to da dining car, eat a biga lunch and starta at open da bottle of a nice a vino! Conductore walka by again, waga his finger and say, 'No drinka in disa car! Musta use a cluba car.'

So, we go to cluba car. While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga cigar. The conductore, he waga is finger again and say, 'No a smokina disa car. Musta go to a smokina car ..' "We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar.

Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to a sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boombada boombada and the conductore, he walka through da hallway shouting at a top of his a voice..

'Nofolka Virginia ! Nofolka Virginia !' "Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus."

{groan}

An 85 year old woman went to court for shoplifting

The judge ask her what she stole and why?
She replied "A can of peaches. Because I was hungry"
Judge "How many peaches where in the can"
Lady "Five"
Judge "I sentence you to five days in jail"
Then the little old ladies husband then speaks up " She also stole a can of peas"

A husband says to his wife, "What would you do if I won the Lotto?"



She says, "I'd take half, then leave you."



"Excellent," he replies.



"I won $12.00, here's $6.00''

stretchride wrote:"I won $12.00, here's $6.00''

Reminds me of the song that goes "she left me a took my dog....I'm sure going to miss that dog"

A group of bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge…So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, “Hey Baby….. whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”

She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”

While he didn't want to appear ‘sensitive’, George also didn’t want to miss this ‘be-a-legend’ opportunity either so he asked… “Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe… Why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that… And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

Gross